“Did you laugh too?”

He nodded.

“I shouldn’t have.”

Ryan approached me.

“How did you get those messages?”

“Your account was signed into our iPad. The notification appeared while I was putting Emma to sleep.”

“You went through my private conversations?”

“You took photographs of me without asking.”

“That doesn’t give you the right to show everybody.”

I met his eyes.

“Why was it acceptable when you showed your brothers?”

He couldn’t answer.

Glen shifted uncomfortably.

“They were stupid jokes. Nobody thought she’d see them.”

Tess stared at him.

“Would they have been kinder if Kelsey hadn’t found out?”

He avoided her gaze.

Ryan rubbed his forehead.

“I was venting. Things have changed since Emma was born.”

“What changed?” I asked.

He hesitated.

“Our relationship. We barely spend time together.”

“Because I’m caring for our daughter while you’re doing everything you did before she arrived.”

“That’s not completely true.”

“Then tell me what you handled this week without being asked.”

Ryan opened his mouth, but no words followed.

I switched off the television.

“Do you remember taking that photograph?”

He nodded.

“Emma had been crying all morning. I’d finally settled her when you took that picture. I didn’t even notice you had your phone out.”

He glanced toward the dark screen.

“You could’ve asked me to take Emma,” he said quietly.

“I did, Ryan. You said you needed to finish something.”

He looked away.

“You were sending those pictures to Glen and Max, weren’t you?”

Another nod.

“Yes.”

Keeping my voice steady required considerable effort.

“While I was trying to comfort our daughter, you were giving your brothers something to laugh about.”

“Kelsey, I’m sorry.”

“Did you ever think about how I’d feel if I saw those messages?”

“I never thought you’d see them.”

“Would you have stopped if I hadn’t found out?”

He stared downward.

“I don’t know.”

I’d desperately wanted him to answer yes.

Olive moved beside me.

“How long have you known, Kelsey?”

“Since Monday.”

“You’ve been carrying this all week?”

I nodded.

“I’m sorry you’ve had to face this alone,” she said, squeezing my shoulder.

I turned toward Ryan.

“For four months, I’ve been looking after Emma while wondering why you barely look at me.”

“We’re both adjusting.”

“Then why have I been doing almost everything alone?”

Ryan sat down.

“I didn’t realize how much I’d left you to handle.”

“You saw how tired I was. You just didn’t change anything.”

“I can help more.”

“Emma needs her father, Ryan. I need a husband who respects me.”

He reached for my hand.

“Please, let me fix this.”

I stepped backward.

“Taking care of Emma won’t erase what you said about me.”

Tess rose.

“We should give you two some privacy.”

Olive hugged me before everyone else departed.

Ryan remained seated.

Once the front door closed, he looked toward me.

“Are you leaving?”

“I haven’t decided what happens to our marriage.”

His expression tightened.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Stay somewhere else for a few nights. I need time to think.”

He glanced upstairs.

“And Emma?”

“She’ll stay here. We’ll arrange time for you to see her.”

After a long silence, he nodded.

“I can stay with Glen.”

Before he packed, I stopped him.

“There’s something else.”

He turned around.

“I’m not hosting every family dinner or handling every night with Emma anymore. If we try to repair this, things need to change.”

“I understand.”

“Don’t promise because you’re scared tonight. Think about whether you’re willing to do it.”

He looked toward the blank television.

“I will.”

The following morning, Ryan phoned.

“Can I come see Emma?”

“Come at ten.”

When he arrived, I gave him her bottle.

“I’m going out for coffee. You’ll have her for two hours.”

“Okay.”

I returned to find Emma napping and Ryan cleaning her bottles.

“I’ve been thinking about Saturday,” he said.

I put down my keys.

“I treated your exhaustion like your problem. I know I was wrong.”

“You were.”

“I deleted my copies of those pictures. I also asked Glen and Max to delete theirs.”

“Good. But that doesn’t fix everything.”

He nodded.

I wanted to believe he understood, but trusting him again would take time.

A week later, Ryan visited to spend the afternoon with Emma.

He’d been coming regularly, although I still wasn’t ready for him to move back home.

As he fed her, I reached for my phone.

“Ryan, I want you to take a picture of us.”

He seemed surprised.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I haven’t had a proper picture with Emma in weeks.”

He returned Emma to my arms, and I settled her against my chest.

I was wearing jeans and a properly fitting shirt. My hair hung loose, and Emma kept grabbing it.

Ryan took several photographs.

“Want to see?”

I extended my hand.

In one picture, Emma faced the camera while I laughed.

Ryan hesitated.

“Do you think you’ll ever feel comfortable around me again?”

I examined the photograph.

“I want to. But I still wonder what you’re thinking when you look at me.”

His expression fell.

“I hate that I made you feel that way.”

“So do I.”

“I’ve been trying to show you I can change.”

“I’ve noticed. But one good week doesn’t erase four months, Ryan.”

He nodded.

“I’ll keep showing up.”

“Emma needs that. Whether we stay married or not.”

He looked at our daughter.

“I don’t want to lose us.”

I glanced down at the photograph again.

“Neither did I.”

But I didn’t take his hand.

After Ryan left, I sent the new picture to Olive.

She replied, “You both look so happy!”

I smiled.

Ryan had once secretly photographed me and made me ashamed of my body.

This time, I’d asked for the picture myself.

I looked happy. I looked exhausted. I looked like Emma’s mother.

And for the first time in months, I wasn’t wondering whether Ryan approved.