Silence. Half the lounge is staring at him. A few mouths hang open. Someone mutters something about wishing his spouse would let him buy a new car. Another whispers they didn’t even know mink coats were still legal.
The man slowly closes the phone, holds it up, and in a perfectly steady voice asks:
“Does anyone know whose phone this is?”
The room erupts. The timing, the delivery, the innocence of the setup — everything lines up like a perfectly executed prank. Simple, harmless, and devastatingly effective. The man didn’t make a fool of anyone but the situation itself, and the punchline lands exactly where it belongs.
It’s the kind of humor older folks appreciate because it relies on wit, not shock value. It feels like the kind of story someone might tell at a potluck, a family dinner, or after church on Sunday — the kind that makes everyone laugh without making anyone uncomfortable. A reminder that comedy doesn’t need to be crude; it just needs to be clever.
And because laughter works best when it doesn’t stop too quickly, here are a few more classics that fit the same spirit — clean, sharp, and timeless.
A man spots a “Talking Dog for Sale” sign and, curious, asks the owner to see the dog. In the backyard sits a golden retriever. The man asks, “Can you really talk?” and the dog says, “Yep.” Without missing a beat, the dog launches into a whole story about his years working for the CIA, flying around the world, eavesdropping on dangerous criminals, and eventually retiring for a quieter life. Amazed, the man asks the owner how much he wants for the dog. “Ten dollars,” the owner says. “Ten? Why so cheap?” The owner shrugs: “Because he’s a liar. He didn’t do any of that.”
Another favorite: an elderly couple having dinner when the wife says she’s going upstairs for a bath. The husband goes to run the water. A few minutes later, the wife comes up and finds him staring blankly into the bedroom closet. “What are you doing?” she asks. Confused, he answers, “I forgot if I was getting dressed or taking a bath.”
Then there’s the man who walks into a pharmacy asking for something to stop hiccups. The pharmacist slaps him across the face so hard it echoes. “Why’d you do that?” the man demands. “Well, you don’t have hiccups anymore, do you?” “No,” the man replies, “but my wife in the car does.”
And, of course, the retirees arguing over passwords. One says, “My memory is so bad, I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so when I forget it, the computer tells me, ‘Your password is incorrect.’” The other nods slowly and says, “Smart. Mine’s going to be ‘forgotten.’ That way it’ll say, ‘Your password has been forgotten.’”
